Weigh In Four...The One Month Edition

This has been another tough week for me. I did not exercise this past week. I am really going to try to do it this next week. I am super excited that I have had some help in my rewards, my wonderful In-Laws told me that they will buy me a new outfit when I get to 250, and take me to get a Pedicure when I get to 225.

In better news, I reached my first weight loss goal!!! I hit and passed the 270 mark, and I am so happy to finally be getting somewhere.

These next few weeks are going to get harder. We have 3 family birthdays in the next 3 weeks, with cake and junk food at all of them. My parents are coming to visit on Friday, and then when they leave on Wednesday, they are taking Eli to Michigan with them. I am supposed to leave for Michigan on July 8th that is 9 days without my baby. Up until now the longest I have ever been away from him is 2 days. With all the changes and disruptions in my life, it is going to be really hard to stick to my plan, but I am going to do my best. I am most worried about stress eating, while Eli is in Michigan. On the upside, I should have plenty of time to exercise.

My goal this week is to actually exercise, not just write that I will start exercising. Maybe if I can do 3 workouts in a week, drink lots of water, I will be well on the way to my next goal of 255.

Starting Weight:   285

Last Week:           272

Current:                268

Weight Lost:            4

Total Lost:             17

***I still need some more ideas for inexpensive rewards!***

Goal 1: 270 Reached 6-17-2011 Reward: New Swimsuit Top

Goal 2: 255 New Book.(Maybe I will take the time to enjoy it too?)
Goal 3: 250 New Outfit (Donated by my awesome In-Laws.)

Goal 4: 240 Workout Outfit

Goal 5: 225 Mani & Pedi (Again donated by my super awesome In-Laws!)

Goal 6: 210

Goal 7: 195 Shorts? (I haven't worn shorts since I was 10)(Even if it's winter, I want them!)

Goal 8: 180

Goal 9: 165

Goal 10: 150 Clothes!!!

It's Too Hard...

(Insert whining here.)

Losing weight is HARD. I hate it. I hate watching what I eat. I hate the thought of exercise(I haven't actually started working out yet.) I hate missing out on cake, and french fries.

Being fat is HARDER. I hate the way people look at me, like they are better than me. I hate not wearing things I like, because they don't come in my size. I hate the way I feel after I eat too much. I hate the guilt I feel after I run through McDonald's drive through after work. I hate that my pants are too tight. I hate that my legs rub together. I hate that my son imitates me, wanting to lose weight. I hate that he knows already.

I worry: that I won't be here for Eli, that Eli will be fat, that I won't fit on that airplane, ride, bench, or chair, that people won't like me because I am too fat, that people will treat Eli different because I am fat, that my husband doesn't think I am beautiful.

I want: to be healthy for me, to teach Eli a healthy way of life, to not be afraid of eating, to be confidant, to feel good about myself, to look in the mirror and smile, to hear someone say I am beautiful and believe it, to wear shorts, to have energy.

Most of all I want to be happy with myself.

On the Cheap...

So, as you all know, I love couponing. I love to save money. This whole eating healthy thing could be crazy expensive. Since this is now my new way of life, I need to find ways to fit it into my budget.

Here are a few tips for eating healthy on a budget...

• Shop the front page of your store's circular. They are the best deals, to get you into the store. The produce and meat's are going to be priced really well.
• Stock up when they are on sale. When meat is on a good sale buy extra and freeze it. A lot of produce is really good to freeze as well. Buy extra and freeze it as well.
• Frozen fruit and vegetables. They are great. They go on sale often, lots of times for free. My freezer is full of veggies, since they are so much better for you than canned, and often I don't want to take the time to make fresh.
• Make a "Buy Price" list. You need to know the rock bottom prices for the things you buy. Whether you write it down, or just keep track of it in your head, it's very important. I know that I can get Boneless Skinless Chicken breast for $1.79/lb, so why would I pay $4.99/lb. 
• Split Chicken Breasts are a good alternative to Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast. You can usually get them for $.99/lb, and it's really easy to cut the skin and bone off. It ends up being cheaper in the end, even though the bone and skin gets thrown away in the end.
• Skip the pre-cut, ready to eat produce. It's convenient, but costly. I find it is usually at least double the cost of doing it myself. I buy produce a lot at a time. When I come home I set aside the time to take care of it all right away, and keep it all in containers in the fridge. It is easier to grab an apple or strawberries if it's ready for me, than to worry about how many chips or cookies I eat.
• Buy local. Farmer's Markets are a great place to go. The less "middle-men" stuff has to go through the less added cost there is. Plus, they are fresher, and support your community!
• Write companies for coupons, tell them how much you love their product. While it is harder to find coupons for produce and meats, they do exist.

Hope this helps!!!

Weigh In Three...

This was a very hard week for me. I was emotional, to say the least. A terrible week at work, combined with missing my kid, means emotional eating. I am working on learning to handle my emotions better, but I had a setback this week. (There might me more rants on here or FB!!!) I am stressed about all the things I need to do before my parents get here in 11 days. 

I think/hope I might start adding workouts into my day this week. We have a fitness center in our apartment complex, I have never been there, but it should at least be enough to get me moving. I have 20 workout dvd's, a pool across from us, and almost every Wii workout game. I really have no excuse not to workout. I just don't feel like it. It's time to change that. This next week and a half will be really busy, but I am hoping to fit in time to work out anyway.

Starting Weight:   285

Last Week:          274

Current:               272

Weight Lost:            2

Total Lost:             13

***I still need some more ideas for inexpensive rewards!***

Goal 1: 270 Reward: New Swimsuit Top

Goal 2: 255 New Book.(Maybe I will take the time to enjoy it too?)

Goal 3: 240

Goal 4: 225

Goal 5: 210

Goal 6: 195

Goal 7: 180

Goal 8: 165

Goal 9: 150 Clothes!!!

My Week...

This has been the longest week of my life. I am so tired, which is why I haven't been posting at all. It just seems like everything has been going wrong this week.

First, this was a VERY long week at work, normally I only work 3-4 days, but this was a five day week for me. Which Eli has decided to guilt me with ALL week. "Mama, I miss you when you work all the time!" (Mommy Guilt! Ughh) And the job I mostly enjoy, has turned into one HORRIBLE job this week. We are understaffed, and overly busy. In fact, I cried at work last night. (Thank you, Carey) The worst part is there is no end in sight for the overwhelming craziness. At least I was off today, and next week is back to 4 days.

Then there was the crankiness. Holy NO NAP week. Eli is on strike for naps. I am so not ready to give up nap time. He is so not ready to give up nap time. I am pretty sure he has only taken 2 naps ALL WEEK!!! This also means that he is really cranky by 4 pm. At the latest. Not to mention that he is having a hard time with the transitions between Grammy and Papa's house and ours. When he comes home in the morning, he is whiny, and wants to go back, when it's time to go back, he want to stay home.

Next, I have decided that I need to get up early every day. This was definitely not the week to start it, but I did it anyway. The latest I got up this week was 8 am. I have been working until at least 11 almost every night this week, which means I am not getting to bed until 12 or 1, then I am up around 6. I am exhausted to say the least, since I am not a sound sleeper, I am getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night. This lack of sleep is being countered by a LOT of coffee. (Iced leftover coffee doesn't count into my daily coffee allowance, right?)

Oh yeah, and I am hormonal. I am an emotional basket case. I have a reason, (Hello TOM) but still...

So see why I haven't been around much? Oh wait!!! There's more... A friend is sleeping on my couch(who I thoroughly enjoy having, don't even start with me, you know who you are!!!), and my parents are coming down to visit in less than 2 weeks!!! Let's just pile on the stress. Hoping for a better week next week!!!

Weigh In Two...

This has been a rough week. I am sick,(swimmers ear), which makes me not want to eat, since it hurts to chew. Lots of Eli troubles, no naps=cranky kid. I did ok on my water intake, but not as well as I had hoped. Still working on that. I was planning on swimming with Eli alot, but I am not allowed to swim until my ear is better. I ate out this week, which is really hard for me, I don't make the best choices when I am out to eat, since it is such a rarity around here. Also since I shared with Eli I chose to get one side item for him, and one for me. Rolls and peanuts didn't help, and dessert was included. OOPS!!! Oh well back to the plan ! I have lots of fruit in my fridge, but the veggies are running low. I am hving a really hard time with finding vegetables that I can eat without a lot of adding to them. I still really don't like vegetables. Anyone have any ideas?

I am up 1 lb for the week, I kind of expected to not lose much, if anything since I had such a big loss last week. I am also not expecting much this week, due to a visit from Aunt Flow. If I can stay the same this week I will be happy.

Starting Weight:   285
Last Week:          273
Current:               274
Weight Lost:           -1
Total Lost:             11

Goal 1: 270 Reward: New Swimsuit Top
Goal 2: 255
Goal 3: 240
Goal 4: 225
Goal 5: 210
Goal 6: 195
Goal 7: 180
Goal 8: 165
Goal 9: 150

Milestones:

1. On Memorial Day I SKIPPED cake. ME. I skipped CAKE. I ate pineapple instead.
2. Water. I am drowning. SO MUCH WATER.

Focus this week:

• I don't know, I am miserable right now. TOM is kicking my booty right now. It is hard enough to stick to the plan, let alone add something else. I REALLY WANT FRENCH FRIES AND CHOCOLATE RIGHT NOW!!! 

Wordless Wednesday... The Faces of Eli

There are so many faces of my child. 

He is definitely emotional.

Weigh In One...

This is the end of week one. This week was all about changing the foods I was eating. I replaced snack foods with fruit or veggies. I cut down on my carb intake, and replaced it with, you guessed it, even more veggies. Did I mention that I HATE veggies!!! I know, I know, I am like a 5 year old.

This is the beginning of week two. This next week will be all about drinking more water. I need to drink a minimum of 4-5 bottles of water a day. Currently I am only drinking 1-2. Let me tell you that I also HATE water. Again 5 year old, I hear you. I have gone from lots of sodas, to no more than one a day, if that. I will not be giving up coffee. No way, Jose. Coffee makes me happy, it makes my mornings go smoothly, it makes me much more tolerant of the upcoming day.

Here are the stats:

Starting Weight:    285
Current Weight:    273
Weight Lost:          12!!!!
Total Lost:             12
1st Goal:              270

I am breaking my weight loss goals into 15 lb increments. 15 lbs is a lot easier to swallow than 135 lbs.
I am also giving myself rewards for each goal. NON food rewards. Since rewarding myself with food defeats the purpose. Since money is fairly tight, they will also need to be reasonably priced. Any one have ideas for me? Please help me fill up my reward list!!!

Goal 1:  270 Reward: New Swimsuit Top!
Goal 2:  255 Reward:
Goal 3:  240 Reward:
Goal 4:  225 Reward:
Goal 5:  210 Reward:
Goal 6:  195 Reward:
Goal 7:  180 Reward:
Goal 8:  165 Reward:
Goal 9:  150 Reward: New wardrobe!!!

My New Favorite Recipe Webpage...

CanYouStayForDinner.com

This woman has definately inspired me. She lost 135 lbs and has kept it off for 4 years. The recipes are healthy, although I did spy a recipe for Hostess style Cupcakes. I am making the Buffalo Chicken Rolls right now! They are absolutely delicious, although I skipped the blue cheese in mine! (I can't get past the smell to even try it.)

Obsession...

So for those of you who know me, you know that I am a little bit obsessive. Well I am more than a little obsessive when it comes to the scale. I weigh myself at least once a day. I have been known to weigh myself several times throughout the day. It is unhealthy. I know, I know. I can't stop. (OK, stop shaking your head at me.)

I am turning a new leaf. I am committing to y'all(yes, I said y'all, I live in the south now, you have to fit in) that I am going to cut back. I am going to try to get my addiction under control. I am going to weigh myself no more than 1(one) time every other day. Except of course I will have to weigh myself on Monday. (Weigh in day) And if I have a really good day, I should probably weigh myself the next morning, right? And maybe if I have a bad day, just so I know how bad it really was. And... Okay, every other day. And Monday. (Tomorrow is Monday, by the way!)

My Weight Loss Journey...

I am overweight, (actually it's worse than that, but lets keep it happy, k?)

Monday I started a new way of life. Less junk. More veggies. LOTS of fruit. Fruit is like candy, only better for you. I am not going to count calories. I am not going to "diet". I am not going to give up REAL food. I am going to find more ways to incorporate veggies. I am going to choose healthier options for snacking. I am going to eat veggies (even though I don't like them). I AM going to teach Eli to eat healthy. I am going to teach Eli that junk food isn't a way of life, but that it is a special treat.

With all that said I started my journey at 285 lbs on Monday.
Yesterday morning I weighed in at 281 lbs.
I have lost 4 lbs already. I am thrilled.

Trigger Foods...

This is my McFatty Monday post. I linked up with Heir to Blair for more McFatty Monday!

I am discovering what my trigger foods are. Things like cookies, ice cream, AND bagel chips. I can't have just one. I open a bag of bagel chips, thinking I will have just one, next thing I know, the entire bag is gone. Oops. So I am not giving myself the option to eat an entire bag, I am not eating any. I bought lots of fruit and veggies, and one more trip today for some others, so that I don't have to have the junk food anymore.

I am making a goal to be more active also. A little at a time, maybe 15 minutes a day. Whether it is dancing with Eli or going for a walk, I have to do something.

I am hoping for a good start to my diet. I am hoping for good results. I am hoping for 1 dress size gone. I am hoping for 6 dress sizes gone forever. A little at a time.

Since last time I posted, I was up 10 lbs, but have lost 3 of them already. I have a long way to go, but it just takes one step at a time.

Boppy...

Four years ago a wonderful man went to be with the Lord. I only knew him for a short time, but I loved him just the same. I met him when I was 17, and I only spent a few weeks with him over the next few years. He was the father of my birthmother. My grandfather.

Today I miss you. I love you.

My Boppy.

Extreme Couponing...

When I shop, most of the time, I save around 60 to 75%. Not this time. The show Extreme Couponers has both inspired me, and upset me. I mean why do you need an entire room for TOOTHPASTE? Everything has an expiration date.

Today was my first experience with an extreme trip. I normally buy what we will use in the next 6-8 weeks, sometimes up to 3 months worth, at any 1 time. Today I went a little crazy. Publix is my favorite store, their Buy 1 Get 1 Free sales are amazing, since you save 50% before coupons. I had a lot of fun today!

This is what I got:

90 packages of Yakisoba noodles: B1G1 @ .89= $35.55-$45 in coupons= $9.45 moneymaker
24 Homestyle Mac & Cheese: B1G1 @ 2.59= $31.08-$24 in coupons= $7.08 or .30 each
20 Bagel Crisps: B1G1 @ 2.69=26.90-20 in coupons=6.90 or .35 each
2 dozen eggs @ 1.59 each-.55 coupon wyb 2 bagel chips = 1.04 each
2 loaves of bread B1G1 @ 2.85=1.43 each
2 Welch's Juice B1G1 @ 3.91-1.50=2.41 or 1.21 each
2 boxes noodles @.89 each
Subtotal =$18.15
Total Saved $196.22 or 91.5%

Insecurity

I am insecure. I know it, but I can't seem to fix it. I am always worried about what people think of me. I worry that people don't like me. I worry that people are talking about me. I spend my life worrying if I am good enough for my husband, for my son, for my job. I have very few friends, I am shy and awkward. I have always been this way, through most of elementary school, junior high, and high school. Part of it is because I am overweight, and I hate the way I look.

Maybe someday I will like who I am. Maybe someday I won't worry what others think. Maybe someday I will believe that I am good enough. Maybe someday I will be confident in my ability to do my job. Maybe someday I won't worry about what others think. Maybe someday I will believe my baby when he says I am the "best mommy in the world." Maybe someday I will believe my husband when he says I am beautiful. Maybe.

For now this is my reality. Not pretty enough. Not good enough. Just not enough.

Mom's

Today is Mother's Day. I have spent the day reflecting on all of the mothers in my life.

To my Birthmother...

You gave me life. And then you gave me away. So that I could grow up in a home that you wanted. You made a choice that, now that I am a mother I can now understand how hard it would be. You made a sacrifice, for me.

To my Mommy...
You gave me a life. You raised me. You taught me to walk, to talk, to love. You taught me about Jesus, and helped me to understand who I am. I love you for giving me a life, and a home. You were always my mother, and now my friend, and also someone I turn to for advice.

To my Mother-in-Law...
You gave me my husband, the father of my child, and man of my dreams. You made him the sweet, caring, emotional, sensitive man that he is. You made him the man he is today, the best husband and father a girl could ask for.

These three mothers, as well as countless others have influenced me, and impacted how I am as a mother. I have a few others in my life, while they may not be mothers, I wouldn't be a mother without them.

To my Husband...
You gave me my son. You and I created together, the most wonderful little boy in the whole world. You are an amazing father, and wonderful husband, and I love you more each and every day. Thank you for yesterday, today, and all the tomorrow's we will share.

To my Son...
You gave me motherhood. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know the joy of waking up each and every day to your voice. I wouldn't understand the wonder of your laugh. I would never have known how much little boys love to get dirty, play rough, and crawl around and just be boys. I love watching you grow and learn every day. I love seeing you discover the new things in the world around you. I love you more today than any other. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant, then the day we found out you were a boy. The day you were born, was one of the two best days of my life. Each and every day is special with you. I love you, and can't wait to see the boy you are growing into, and the man you will be all too soon.

My day has been wonderful, thanks to my wonderful family. I love you.

Friday Finals...

I had lots of fun shopping this week. We are getting ready to move out on our own soon, so we are pretty much starting from scratch food wise.

My Rite Aid trip:

 2 Huggies Jumbo packs
7 J&J products
4 Desitin
2 Sucrets
Total .60 cents
Saved $87.15

My CVS trip:

1 Pampers Jumbo pack

4 Purex Complete

8 Snickers Peanut Butter

1 Jelly Beans

Total $4.45

Saved $40.70

My Publix trip:

1 Kashi Go Lean Crisp
4 Betty Crocker Brownies
2 Progresso Bread Crumbs
6 Progresso Broth/Stock
4 Wishbone Dressings
5 Mt Olive Relish/Pickles
6 6-packs Coke Products(not on sale, but necessary, used a b2g1 coupon)
Total $22.52
Saved $57.51

Total Spent this week:$27.57

Total Saved this week:$185.36

Wild Child...

Eli is definately not a calm child. He is all over the place all the time. He is go go go from morning to night, and it is wearing me out. It is making me crazy. I love him, but I can't keep up. I am not sure how he has so much energy, but I would love some of it. I feel so sorry for his future teachers.

I blame my MIL. All those parents who tell their children "I hope you have a child just like you someday." Watch what you wish for. Do you really want your kids to deal with what you went through? And do you really want to wish that on some poor unsuspecting person that your child is going to marry? (Feel sorry for me, cause Eli is just like his Daddy!)

Watch what you wish for!

My New Year's Resolution

So my New Year's resolution was to blog more. We see how well that has happened, since this is only my second post this year. I am doing great, one post a month.

Anyway, there are a lot of changes happening soon. One of them is that we are hoping to be moving by the end of next month, although the apartment hunting isn't going the best. We found one, but it's going to be a tight squeeze.

Eli is getting so big, he will be 3 in just a few months! Where did the time go?

I am going to try to be better about blogging! We will see. Life is a little bit crazy right now.

McFatty Monday!

I am back on the wagon. For the 1000th time. Only 25 lbs to go for my first goal. After that we will reassess the goals and go from there. I am taking it a little at a time, 'cause if I look at the whole picture, that's just too overwhelming.

I am trying the new WW Points Plus program from home without WW help, just an app on my phone. I am not sure I like the new system, but I do like that most fruits and veggies are free. I have definately not been hungry at all today, in fact I have been completely satisfied all day long. Here's to hoping it works well for me.

BTW I have lost lots of weight(40lbs), just have lots to go(more than I've lost).

BTW again- Check out Heir to Blair's McFatty Monday too.