(Insert whining here.)
Losing weight is HARD. I hate it. I hate watching what I eat. I hate the thought of exercise(I haven't actually started working out yet.) I hate missing out on cake, and french fries.
Being fat is HARDER. I hate the way people look at me, like they are better than me. I hate not wearing things I like, because they don't come in my size. I hate the way I feel after I eat too much. I hate the guilt I feel after I run through McDonald's drive through after work. I hate that my pants are too tight. I hate that my legs rub together. I hate that my son imitates me, wanting to lose weight. I hate that he knows already.
I worry: that I won't be here for Eli, that Eli will be fat, that I won't fit on that airplane, ride, bench, or chair, that people won't like me because I am too fat, that people will treat Eli different because I am fat, that my husband doesn't think I am beautiful.
I want: to be healthy for me, to teach Eli a healthy way of life, to not be afraid of eating, to be confidant, to feel good about myself, to look in the mirror and smile, to hear someone say I am beautiful and believe it, to wear shorts, to have energy.
Most of all I want to be happy with myself.
ahhhh erin -- i hate to hear you thinking like that and i dont even know you! im only 5' and weigh a heck of alot more than i should too! i know exactly how you feel, HOWEVER, in that post you are reallllllyyy beating yourself up! stop it!!! you're hurting yourself more!! gotta rise above it erin, rise above it! you can do it - yeah its hard - positive thinking make yourself think POSITIVE thoughts!! losing weight is more of a head game than anything else! CLIMB OUT OF THE HOLE that you are in right now!! TOMORROW is another day! you ARE a beautiful young lady, it will all be ok -- you just gotta pull yourself together right now. WHATEVER set this frame of mind off needs to go away!! if it was simply 7 cookies or mcdonalds -- STOP IT - get rid of the cookies - that means THROW THEM OUT AND DONT BUY THEM!!!! or don't let the car go to mcdonalds --YOU are driving!! YOU are in control of what goes into your mouth -- if its cookies/junk food for eli/frank -- sorry, but they will have to have other snacks -- teach eli now so he doesnt deal with these same issues later! DONT BUY THE CRAP at the store that you know is just plain wrong food - just dont buy it!! its like quitting smoking -- if you dont buy the cigs you CANT smoke them -- if you dont buy the junk food you CANT eat it! :) teach yourself to drink only water - ONLY water! thats a baby step that is easy to do!! tackle one issue at a time -- not 4! hang in there girl1!!
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