Weigh In One...

This is the end of week one. This week was all about changing the foods I was eating. I replaced snack foods with fruit or veggies. I cut down on my carb intake, and replaced it with, you guessed it, even more veggies. Did I mention that I HATE veggies!!! I know, I know, I am like a 5 year old.

This is the beginning of week two. This next week will be all about drinking more water. I need to drink a minimum of 4-5 bottles of water a day. Currently I am only drinking 1-2. Let me tell you that I also HATE water. Again 5 year old, I hear you. I have gone from lots of sodas, to no more than one a day, if that. I will not be giving up coffee. No way, Jose. Coffee makes me happy, it makes my mornings go smoothly, it makes me much more tolerant of the upcoming day.

Here are the stats:

Starting Weight:    285
Current Weight:    273
Weight Lost:          12!!!!
Total Lost:             12
1st Goal:              270

I am breaking my weight loss goals into 15 lb increments. 15 lbs is a lot easier to swallow than 135 lbs.
I am also giving myself rewards for each goal. NON food rewards. Since rewarding myself with food defeats the purpose. Since money is fairly tight, they will also need to be reasonably priced. Any one have ideas for me? Please help me fill up my reward list!!!

Goal 1:  270 Reward: New Swimsuit Top!
Goal 2:  255 Reward:
Goal 3:  240 Reward:
Goal 4:  225 Reward:
Goal 5:  210 Reward:
Goal 6:  195 Reward:
Goal 7:  180 Reward:
Goal 8:  165 Reward:
Goal 9:  150 Reward: New wardrobe!!!

My New Favorite Recipe Webpage...

CanYouStayForDinner.com

This woman has definately inspired me. She lost 135 lbs and has kept it off for 4 years. The recipes are healthy, although I did spy a recipe for Hostess style Cupcakes. I am making the Buffalo Chicken Rolls right now! They are absolutely delicious, although I skipped the blue cheese in mine! (I can't get past the smell to even try it.)

Obsession...

So for those of you who know me, you know that I am a little bit obsessive. Well I am more than a little obsessive when it comes to the scale. I weigh myself at least once a day. I have been known to weigh myself several times throughout the day. It is unhealthy. I know, I know. I can't stop. (OK, stop shaking your head at me.)

I am turning a new leaf. I am committing to y'all(yes, I said y'all, I live in the south now, you have to fit in) that I am going to cut back. I am going to try to get my addiction under control. I am going to weigh myself no more than 1(one) time every other day. Except of course I will have to weigh myself on Monday. (Weigh in day) And if I have a really good day, I should probably weigh myself the next morning, right? And maybe if I have a bad day, just so I know how bad it really was. And... Okay, every other day. And Monday. (Tomorrow is Monday, by the way!)

My Weight Loss Journey...

I am overweight, (actually it's worse than that, but lets keep it happy, k?)

Monday I started a new way of life. Less junk. More veggies. LOTS of fruit. Fruit is like candy, only better for you. I am not going to count calories. I am not going to "diet". I am not going to give up REAL food. I am going to find more ways to incorporate veggies. I am going to choose healthier options for snacking. I am going to eat veggies (even though I don't like them). I AM going to teach Eli to eat healthy. I am going to teach Eli that junk food isn't a way of life, but that it is a special treat.

With all that said I started my journey at 285 lbs on Monday.
Yesterday morning I weighed in at 281 lbs.
I have lost 4 lbs already. I am thrilled.

Trigger Foods...

This is my McFatty Monday post. I linked up with Heir to Blair for more McFatty Monday!

I am discovering what my trigger foods are. Things like cookies, ice cream, AND bagel chips. I can't have just one. I open a bag of bagel chips, thinking I will have just one, next thing I know, the entire bag is gone. Oops. So I am not giving myself the option to eat an entire bag, I am not eating any. I bought lots of fruit and veggies, and one more trip today for some others, so that I don't have to have the junk food anymore.

I am making a goal to be more active also. A little at a time, maybe 15 minutes a day. Whether it is dancing with Eli or going for a walk, I have to do something.

I am hoping for a good start to my diet. I am hoping for good results. I am hoping for 1 dress size gone. I am hoping for 6 dress sizes gone forever. A little at a time.

Since last time I posted, I was up 10 lbs, but have lost 3 of them already. I have a long way to go, but it just takes one step at a time.

Boppy...

Four years ago a wonderful man went to be with the Lord. I only knew him for a short time, but I loved him just the same. I met him when I was 17, and I only spent a few weeks with him over the next few years. He was the father of my birthmother. My grandfather.

Today I miss you. I love you.

My Boppy.

Extreme Couponing...

When I shop, most of the time, I save around 60 to 75%. Not this time. The show Extreme Couponers has both inspired me, and upset me. I mean why do you need an entire room for TOOTHPASTE? Everything has an expiration date.

Today was my first experience with an extreme trip. I normally buy what we will use in the next 6-8 weeks, sometimes up to 3 months worth, at any 1 time. Today I went a little crazy. Publix is my favorite store, their Buy 1 Get 1 Free sales are amazing, since you save 50% before coupons. I had a lot of fun today!

This is what I got:

90 packages of Yakisoba noodles: B1G1 @ .89= $35.55-$45 in coupons= $9.45 moneymaker
24 Homestyle Mac & Cheese: B1G1 @ 2.59= $31.08-$24 in coupons= $7.08 or .30 each
20 Bagel Crisps: B1G1 @ 2.69=26.90-20 in coupons=6.90 or .35 each
2 dozen eggs @ 1.59 each-.55 coupon wyb 2 bagel chips = 1.04 each
2 loaves of bread B1G1 @ 2.85=1.43 each
2 Welch's Juice B1G1 @ 3.91-1.50=2.41 or 1.21 each
2 boxes noodles @.89 each
Subtotal =$18.15
Total Saved $196.22 or 91.5%

Insecurity

I am insecure. I know it, but I can't seem to fix it. I am always worried about what people think of me. I worry that people don't like me. I worry that people are talking about me. I spend my life worrying if I am good enough for my husband, for my son, for my job. I have very few friends, I am shy and awkward. I have always been this way, through most of elementary school, junior high, and high school. Part of it is because I am overweight, and I hate the way I look.

Maybe someday I will like who I am. Maybe someday I won't worry what others think. Maybe someday I will believe that I am good enough. Maybe someday I will be confident in my ability to do my job. Maybe someday I won't worry about what others think. Maybe someday I will believe my baby when he says I am the "best mommy in the world." Maybe someday I will believe my husband when he says I am beautiful. Maybe.

For now this is my reality. Not pretty enough. Not good enough. Just not enough.

Mom's

Today is Mother's Day. I have spent the day reflecting on all of the mothers in my life.

To my Birthmother...

You gave me life. And then you gave me away. So that I could grow up in a home that you wanted. You made a choice that, now that I am a mother I can now understand how hard it would be. You made a sacrifice, for me.

To my Mommy...
You gave me a life. You raised me. You taught me to walk, to talk, to love. You taught me about Jesus, and helped me to understand who I am. I love you for giving me a life, and a home. You were always my mother, and now my friend, and also someone I turn to for advice.

To my Mother-in-Law...
You gave me my husband, the father of my child, and man of my dreams. You made him the sweet, caring, emotional, sensitive man that he is. You made him the man he is today, the best husband and father a girl could ask for.

These three mothers, as well as countless others have influenced me, and impacted how I am as a mother. I have a few others in my life, while they may not be mothers, I wouldn't be a mother without them.

To my Husband...
You gave me my son. You and I created together, the most wonderful little boy in the whole world. You are an amazing father, and wonderful husband, and I love you more each and every day. Thank you for yesterday, today, and all the tomorrow's we will share.

To my Son...
You gave me motherhood. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know the joy of waking up each and every day to your voice. I wouldn't understand the wonder of your laugh. I would never have known how much little boys love to get dirty, play rough, and crawl around and just be boys. I love watching you grow and learn every day. I love seeing you discover the new things in the world around you. I love you more today than any other. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant, then the day we found out you were a boy. The day you were born, was one of the two best days of my life. Each and every day is special with you. I love you, and can't wait to see the boy you are growing into, and the man you will be all too soon.

My day has been wonderful, thanks to my wonderful family. I love you.