I am insecure. I know it, but I can't seem to fix it. I am always worried about what people think of me. I worry that people don't like me. I worry that people are talking about me. I spend my life worrying if I am good enough for my husband, for my son, for my job. I have very few friends, I am shy and awkward. I have always been this way, through most of elementary school, junior high, and high school. Part of it is because I am overweight, and I hate the way I look.
Maybe someday I will like who I am. Maybe someday I won't worry what others think. Maybe someday I will believe that I am good enough. Maybe someday I will be confident in my ability to do my job. Maybe someday I won't worry about what others think. Maybe someday I will believe my baby when he says I am the "best mommy in the world." Maybe someday I will believe my husband when he says I am beautiful. Maybe.
For now this is my reality. Not pretty enough. Not good enough. Just not enough.
Hey girl,
ReplyDeleteYou've got to give yourself more credit! No one is perfect-and everyone fights these insecurities-I really identify with a lot of what you said here. No negative talk to myself-that's my rule. It's tough, but I always force myself to stop when I begin to beat myself up--I also like to think of all of my friends with imperfections and how much I love how I can be myself with them b/c they're NOT perfect! You should check out this blog: http://barefootfoodie.com/
She is great about being fun, funny, imperfect and curvy. I love her and it always boosts my self image to hear/read other women boosting theirs! Thanks for sharing this blog post--