Up? Down? That is the question on my mind every day. The scale is taunting me. I am having a hard time with believing I can do it, I have such a huge goal, and I have never made it past a few weeks. This is the first time that I have stuck to something for any length of time. I have been on a controlled calorie diet for about 5 weeks, and even though I have had some rough nights when all I want to eat is junk food, because I am logging everything I eat, and my food log is public, I have kept to my diet.
I am down 1.2 lbs this week, and while I always hope for more, at least it is a loss. I have a definate goal in mind, and I had thought I would be able to accomplish it much faster than it is happening.
I started walking this week, it is not fun, because Eli goes with me, and spends the entire time hysterical that he will never see his stuffed animals again. I have tried to go by myself, but he doesn't want me to be out of his sight. With all of the challenges of the emotional side of my child, I am very surprised that I worked out at all.
I also made my husband hide the scale from me. I am really bad about weighing myself every day, when I don't see a change or I see a gain, it puts me in a bad mood, and causes me to want to eat. I am definitely an emotional eater through and through. He will pull it out only on Friday mornings, I will weigh myself, then he will hide it again.
For now I am going to focus on my smaller goals, which is 275, I only have 12.2 lbs until I reach that goal. I am really hoping to reach that goal by Halloween. Here's to hoping...
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